Go Cisplatin!

Really wanted to share part of an email I received the morning of my first Cisplatin infusion. I hope you all see the humor in it, too. I loved it!
Thank you, Sarah.

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A little "Go Greased Lightning" parady came to mind this morning--sorry, but I just had to go with it ; )

Go Cisplatin, you really know how to kill all the cells.
(Cisplatin, go Cisplatin!)
Go Cisplatin, you really know how to do that well.
(Cisplatin, go Cisplatin!)
Your body's clean,
(uh-huh)
The cells will scream!
(uh-huh)
Cisplatin...Cisplatin...Cisplatin...Cisplatin...
Cisplatin...Cisplatin...Cisplatin...Cipslatin...
Cisplaaattttiinnn!
-----------

For those of you that are a little...uh...rusty on lyrics or cadence of the song, here's a good reference for you:

Trial Infusion #1

Took this photo on the way in this morning for my first cisplatin infusion. My bloodwork was checked and I passed with flying platelets! I'm anxious about some of the coming days, but let's see what happens and work from there.

Please ask/pray/wish for the anti-nausea fairy to visit me. And the anti-constipation fairy while you're at it. Hey, I'm all about full disclosure!

-Laura

For those Inquiring Minds...

We'd like to answer a couple of questions that have been posed regarding the clinical trial which begins Monday February 13, 2012:

Is Cisplatin what Laura has taken before or a completely new drug?

Yes, Cisplatin is an entirely different drug. From June through September 2011 Laura received a combination of drugs, Cytoxan and Adriamycin, and then Taxol -- the standard therapy for treatment of triple negative breast cancer patients with an aggressive tumor. When a very small amount of residual cancer cells were found in Laura’s breast tissue at surgery, her oncologist recommended this Cisplatin/PARP inhibitor clinical trial as a follow-up option. Because Laura was randomly assigned to the chemo portion only of this clinical trial, she will receive Cisplatin, a platinum-containing compound which has been used for a number of years for stopping/slowing the growth of cancer cells in many types of cancers.

When you say "final blow," does this mean there are no more drugs/treatments after this round?

For this part of Laura's medical journey, yes - this is the final drug/treatment she can receive before the "wait and see" period begins post-treatment. Cisplatin is not approved to use on patients without metastatic cancer and it has a proven track record of killing the type of cancer cells that were in Laura's body. Were it not for this clinical trial, Cisplatin wouldn't be administered at this time. Laura, her medical team, and her family all think that doing more now can only help. That, and it will give her the mental boost that she's done everything she can to show up to this fight with "guns blazing!"

Hope this answers Mandi's questions. Thanks for asking. Does anyone else have questions? Feel free to ask and we'll answer as we're able.

Thoughts

It's weird to know that I'm headed for more chemo in <2 days. I seem to be in a recursive journey where my body is feeling good and recovering well - so it must be time to bring on the next round of this spar with cancer. On one hand, I feel great and am dragging my heels about doing it; on the other hand, I firmly believe this is what needs to be done at this point in my treatment, so let's get this stuff started already!

There lies underneath a sense of dread, fear, and anxiety before each new step in the journey. How will this go? Will my body tolerate things well? Is this the right thing to do? What if...? These thoughts swim to and fro and sometimes make my stomach flip turn.

This journey is not just a test of what a body can take, but also of what a mind can handle. Wrapping my head around being diagnosed with breast cancer was the first step. There are physical limitations - some I must accept; others require daily work to improve. I've learned/am learning to ask others for help and voice my needs. There is a lot of introspection involved with diagnosis, sickness, treatment, surgery, and life after your medically active "fight" is over. Much of this journey is a brain game. I've done my best during radiation and post-radiation recovery to fortify my mind by revisiting meditation, continuing therapy, talking openly and honestly with Joshua, and by "dancing in the rain."

A short video I took on our latest snowshoeing adventure.
We went snowshoeing on our neighborhood streets and in the nearby park.
It was awesome!

When my body gets weak during chemo and my mind begins thinking tricky little thoughts, I'm going to have memories and pictures to reflect upon. These will remind me what I was capable of in early 2012 - just 4 months after my last chemo treatment and 3 months after surgery. Some great early 2012 memories include:

• driving
• walking and jogging
• snowshoeing
• participating in life in as close to normal as I can recall since May 2011
• getting together with friends and family
• meeting with YES! group members
• swinging my head back and forth and not getting nauseous
• practicing pilates and yoga
• having hair (and getting a trim)
• feeling strong and well

Joshua and my mom will upload posts on what's going on/how I'm doing/whatever they'd like to blog about that's relevant. These coming weeks may not be a good time to be on the computer much, so know that I'm just going through things if I'm not blogging or responding to emails. Now is the time to focus inward on healing.

Group A it is...

I've been randomized to Group A for the clinical trial. This means I will receive cisplatin only. Treatments are every 3 weeks, starting on Monday.

Still Waiting...

No news yet about my randomized placement for the clinical trial. I was told yesterday that I would find out today. Or Friday. Didn't want anyone to think I was withholding information! Either way it works out - Group A or Group B - I'm okay with it. The point is that I'm in the trial and will receive a drug that should destroy any active cancer cells, if there are still some in me. The final blow I can actively (medicinally) deal to my adversary.

Another Chili Day

Today's high is supposed to be 25 and it's snowing again. Brr - that's chilly! Time to stay indoors and enjoy warm food and drinks.

Sitting around waiting to hear about yesterday's test results, whether I'm part of the trial or not, and - if so - which group I've been randomized into doesn't sound good to me. Time to busy myself with setting up future house cleaning appointments, organizing my "cancer handbook" binder, and doing top secret preparations for Joshua's birthday.

---busy and then a phone call---

It's now official: I am part of the clinical trial and will begin Monday morning as scheduled. No word yet on which arm of the study I'll be in (Group A or B); I should get a phone call about that tomorrow. So hang on - here we go, folks!

Next Steps

Thought I'd break it down for you all via headings. I like to be organized that way.

All filled up:

Immediately post-fill.
Happy camper!

As of January 30, my expanders are all filled up!
Right: 695cc, Left: 590cc
I may need a top off before surgery on the left side. If that's the case, it will wait until after the clinical trial is over. For now, I'm close to "even" and feeling groovy.

Lab rat:
Today I go in to sign consent forms, have bloodwork done, an ECG, and another heart test of my physician's choice. All day at the hospital - boo. After the tests are in and I get a "pass" to be part of the trial, I'll be randomized into Group A or Group B. I really hope to be part of Group B be in the group that is best for me long term. As long as my tests come back with good results, infusion #1 of cisplatin will be Feburary 13 at 8:30.

Post-radiation stuff:
The swelling, redness, and itching have let up considerably in the last week. Even the little gnat bite-like bumps on part of my chest and back are nearly all gone. Yay! Radiation (not only during, but also after treatment) can cause skin and muscle to become "stuck" and not pliable. So along with daily lymphatic massages, I'm also massaging the skin that was radiated each day (I'm supposed to do 100 circles around my breast each day). Once or twice a day I also give the radiation area (breast, underarm/side, and neck/back) extra lotion to soak up. This should help my skin become and stay "happy" post-radiation.

Lymphedema sleeve, glove,
and gauntlet packages.

Workouts:
It feels great to gradually increase the intensity of my workouts. Last week, after picking up my lymphedema sleeve/glove/gauntlet combo (more info on those to come), I committed to jogging a straight mile on the treadmill. Mission accomplished - plus some. I jogged 1 mile, then walked fast for a 1/2 mile, and then decided to bust out another 1/2 mile. Both jogging intervals were done between a 11-12 minutes per mile pace and the entire workout was just over 3 miles. My arm didn't have any reaction to the increased intensity, so next time I jog I'll just wear the sleeve and see what happens. It is so majorly exciting and thrilling to be able to jog again!

Go ahead, chuckle at the picture below. How could one resist? Not wanting to upset my skin, I decided to wear a jog bra on the outside of a cotton t-shirt.

Joshua snuck away and got the camera-!

Germany Represents!

At long last, Anneliese (Joshua's mother - my mother-in-law) came to visit. Joshua saw her in early December when he made a trip to Washington. I hadn't seen her for a year.

We usually play games when the Sr. Aysons visit. It's a good way to enjoy some time indoors together - as well as to compete. I had beginner's luck with Niners. But beginner's luck doesn't last long.

Playing Rummikub and Niners together.

Someone's always got to be the "different" one...

Joshua was proud to share his mixology creations with his mom. She watched him make it (this one consisted of cucumbers, kale, ginger, chard, 1 stevia packet, a splash of apple juice, and some ice) - so she knew what was in it. (Hey, we are all about full disclosure here.) I made SURE to have the camera around for the first big gulp.

Hey, hey, hey! Lookie here.
Anneliese is trying a green shake!

Down the hatch!
Hmm...bitter beer face.

Next up: homemade kombucha tea. Joshua now has two scobies downstairs. They are in two gallon containers and make the laundry room smell a bit like vinegar. I'm egging him on to talk about his scobies and kombucha in a future post. Anneliese needed something to help wash down the green shake. I think the 'bucha tea did the trick.

Anneliese likes the homebrewed kombucha tea,
a la Joshua's scoby plantation in the laundry room.

We also hit up downtown Littleton one afternoon. We went into several of the shops there - mostly looking, but we did some finding, too. It was great to be outdoors, walking around together, and window shopping. When we were through, Joshua volunteered to go get the car and Anneliese and I sat down facing west and got to view a most bodacious sunset.

We enjoyed a beautiful sunset!

On Anneliese's last eve here in Colorado, we went to mom's place for dinner. She made a butternut squash/spinach/pearl barley soup, salmon, veggies with turmeric, wild rice, and cayenne salsa. Muy caliente! I enjoyed taking it all in.

Post-dinner conversation at Linda's house.

She who takes pictures is never in them. Boo-hoo. Oh well - I know we had a great visit and am happy you came, Anneliese.

A Big Thank You!

Juli has the cowgirl spirit!
I don't know how she does all she does for herself and others.

Today is a cold, snowy day in Colorado. Today's forecast is for 6-10 inches of snow; I think we've already hit that mark. Tonight, another 3-7 inches is expected.

As I began to make breakfast, I thought I heard a snowplow coming down the street, only the sound kept getting louder and louder. Turns out it was Juli, one of our neighbors, snowblowing our driveway!

We continue to be amazed at the way people have rallied to help us. Juli is yet another great example. I'm not able to shovel, nor am I supposed to use the snowblower, so thank you so much for the needed and appreciated assistance!

That's some deep snow. And it just keeps on comin'.