11 week follow-up

Eleven weeks ago, I had my expanders taken out and my implants put in. I also opted to have my chest port taken out during the surgery. Here's what's going on now:

Yesterday's follow up went really well with my plastic surgeon.

I've healed really well! I am cleared to fly, swim (YAY!), and do pretty much anything without physical restrictions. With the exception of swinging from trees, I can pretty much do anything I'm capable of...while watching for arm/trunk swelling on my radiated (right) side.

I should check my breasts regularly for discoloration, discharge, or any redness/swelling (esp. on radiated side). Being familiar with them - by doing daily massages, stretches, and visual checks - will serve me well because I'll be able to tell if something is awry. After all, it pays to be familiar with your bits and pieces.

PSA: Ladies, have you given yourselves a breast check lately? Please do so! 

The bulk of the appointment (to my surprise) revolved around revision surgery and nipple reconstruction surgery. I'm not wanting to jump into either of those surgeries. First, I want to recover and feel great physically before signing on for more 'fun'.

In other Earth-shattering news, am finding that the more I touch all over my chest and my right underarm/torso/arm sensitive areas, the less they "zing" when touched. Pretty cool. It seemed to help me recover well last time; of course, it also might just be a time thing. But I don't think so! I just might be onto something here.   :)

The Deep Blue

A sunset in Littleton.

The active job of medically "fighting" cancer is over. It's recovery time. Time to gradually build back my strength and to maintain exercise, nutrition, and other health factors in my life.

What an interesting place to be. I've been through the "cancer machine" and now have emerged from the machine a changed person in several ways. Most obviously physically--but mentally, too. What a trip it is to be diagnosed with cancer. It's been an adventure indeed and odd to have been, in some ways, fighting against my own body. After all, my body's errant cells refused to act normally and took their bad behavior as far and as quickly as they could.

Right now, there's a lot going on 'upstairs.' I'm ruminating on what has happened in the last ~2 years... looking at life through changed (aware? experienced?) eyes... wondering what it's going to be like to let go of my latest full-time job: understanding the complexities of cancer... thinking about what I want my life to be like and about... learning... It's deep stuff, these thoughts. Most thoughts are rational; some are not. They ebb and flow. Some thoughts are light in weight and color. Others are deep blue, heavy, and make me feel like I'm sinking.

I've been collecting quotes of various types throughout my life. Throughout this journey, I've found some that speak loudly to me in one way or the other. Here are some that are helping me through some of the deep blue thoughts:

• Why is it that we're so scared to live and yet so afraid to die?
• Try to explore and indulge in the feelings for no more than three days, and then move on. 
• Don't delay the happy.
• Promote what you love.
• You only live once but if you do it right, once is enough.  ~Mae West
• I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.  ~Maya Angelou

In June 2011, getting to this time period (post-surgery, radiation, chemo, etc.) seemed SO far away. I wondered: Do I have what it takes to get through all of what is in front of me? Will I see my next birthday? Will I see my 40th? Why did this happen to me? Will I ever look or feel "normal" again? When will I regain my physical strength? There were/are so many questions, doubts, and mind-bending thoughts back then. Some till exist today; I'd be lying if I said they were all gone.

And yet, here I am.

Emerging during a glorious time of year and doing my best to to take life one day at a time.

An Ode to Autumn

How beautifully leaves grow old. 

How full of light and color are their last days.

-John Burroughs, naturalist

Sound Healing

Anyone ever heard of sound healing? I hadn't until recently.

Sound healing uses vibrational sound to help reduce stress, alter consciousness and create a deep sense of peace, well being and better health. (from http://www.soundenergyhealing.com/pages/aboutSoundEnergy.html)

Ann, with some of her singing bowls.

Enter Ann, my massage therapist. She's always on the lookout for new therapies that will benefit her clients. One type of client demographic she'd like to be able to include are individuals that are touch sensitive. For example: people with PTSD, fibromyalgia, going through chemo, etc. and are sensitive to touch.

She's educated herself about sound healing and explained its basic principles to me. Interesting stuff! Here's some Q&A she shared with me that I found helpful in understanding the principles of sound healing and how it works.

The Science of Sound
Brainwaves are the electrical patterns emitted by the brain, and, as such, they respond to frequencies. These waves change frequency due to the neural activity in the brain. Sound Therapy can affect that activity by applying specific frequencies using various instruments. When we present rhythm, beats, tones, and pulses to the brain, it begins to mimic them. The process is called entrainment. In effect, the sound instruments ‘speak’ to the brain in its own language; the language of frequencies. Brainwave frequencies determine what state we are in at any given moment.

When clients turn their attention to the sounds created in the sessions, the brain-chatter turns off and a deep peace overtakes them. We can use sound therapy to achieve specific goals, ie: relaxation, learning, uplifting, energizing and so on.

How do the vibrations from the singing bowls help in the healing process disease?
1. Restoring the normal vibratory frequencies of the diseased, out-of-harmony parts of the body. Since all matter is energy vibrating at different rates, by altering the rate of vibration we can change the structure of matter.
2. Sound from the bowls entrain the brain to move into the deeper Alpha and Theta brain wave frequencies that induce deep meditative and peaceful states, clarity of mind, and intuition.
3. When placed directly on the body the sound vibrations are transmitted into our blood, organs, tissues, and cellular memory through the 80% water in our system.
4. The sound vibrations impact our nervous system, engaging our relaxation reflex and inhibiting the stress or pain response. It reduces brain wave activity, slows the respiratory and heart rate creating 'Cardio-Respiratory Synchronicity'—the perfect condition to bring the body back into alignment.
5. Sound induces trance states of consciousness conducive to healing. Their sound synchronizes sentient brain waves and creates a therapeutic effect upon the mind/body realization. They stop one's internal dialog, the 'Monkey Mind.' The individual is transported into a space of tranquility and balance.
6. The ensuing sympathetic resonance between brain and bowls reawakens the intrinsic blissful self in us. The healing process is initiated by entraining our brainwaves and creating sympathetic resonance with the perfect vibrations of the bowls.
7. Positive thinking can strengthen your immune system and change your life. The combination of the sound vibration of the bowls with positive visualization and affirmations will greatly enhance the healing experience.

More about Ann's Sound Sessions

Ann uses a variety of instruments during her sound healing sessions.

-tibetan bowls
-tuning forks
-crystal bowls
-rin gongs
-tingshaws
-temple bells
-gongs

After a healing session last week, I experienced a profound difference in my mental state. Before the appointment, I was zipping here and there, trying to juggle errands, remember what to do, etc. I was a bit frantic and frazzled - a common status for my brain the past few weeks. It was as if the sound waves and my brain patterns wrestled for a while at the beginning of the session, but the singing bowls won in the end. They calmed down all my mind chatter and I felt SO MUCH MORE at peace!  It was wonderful and brought me back to a place I hadn't been in a while.

Partly based on my peaceful mind experience after the sound session, I'm saying "Yes!" to going to a 1.5 hour gong bath this weekend with Ann. Hope to experience some good vibrations during and after Richard Rudis' gong bath.

Ann Martin, CMT

Transforming Body, Psyche & Soul

303-378-6250

How Do You Heal?

A quick update today on my physical healing. Last week's follow-up with my plastic surgeon, Dr. B, went well.

• For a little over a week before the appointment, I had a tiny area on my right (radiated) scar that looked a little bothered. It got red for a couple of days, but never got too inflamed. Turns out it was a spitting stitch. Because of all of the breast tissue being "carved out" and only a thin layer of skin remains over the implants at the scar line, this stitch wasn't wanting to be absorbed into my body. So Dr. B grabbed a couple of tools and pulled it out. Easy-peasy. There's now an indented hole where the stitch was that I'll have to put Neosporin/gauze on daily and keep an eye on. It should fill in over the next month. 
• Because of the above happening, I'm still a no-go in pools and hot tubs. Pfft!
• Got a near complete (b/c of stitch mentioned above) go-ahead to gradually begin ramping up my activity.
• Time to go bra shopping - yay! I may still be a teensy bit poofy on my right side, but that has drastically decreased over the last few weeks, so it's time to get fitted. Looking forward to not wearing the surgical bra and Warner's bras all the time. 
• Dr. B says I'm free to roam about the country, although he said I'd probably get some fluid build-up in my breast and trunk. I think I'll hold off a while longer so I'm comfortable when I do travel. I could tell when driving in the mountains at 10,000-12,000 feet that my body reacted to the altitude. Good thing I remembered to wear the lymphedema sleeve and gauntlet!

Guest Blogger: Aunt Sandy and the Alkaline Diet

Aunt Sandy has visited us throughout the entire BC journey. She's seen the effects of chemo/surgeries/radiation on me and the mental struggles we've gone through. She is also a witness to how our eating habits have shifted and has become quite a knowledgeable balanced pH lifestyle supporter! I asked Sandy to guest blog about her own nutritional experience this past year.

Take it away, Sandy!

~ -- ~ -- ~ -- ~ -- ~ -- ~ -- ~ -- ~ -- ~ -- ~ -- ~ -- ~ 

Eating better…and feeling better thanks to Joshua and Laura! During my trips to Colorado these past several months, I have been exposed to food choices I had never tried and ingredients I couldn’t even pronounce! While visiting, I wanted to honor the diet that Laura and Joshua had adopted to help Laura put her body in the best cancer-fighting position possible!

One of Sandy's omelettes...
with home grown sprouts!

What I have learned is a great, healthy way to eat and live! Even though I have valued healthy eating and exercising most of my life, I realized I had more to learn. I purchased the book, The pH Balance Diet, by Bharti Vyas & Suzann Le Quesne, after coming back to Oklahoma to learn more about the “hows and whys” of the alkaline balanced way of eating. The word “diet” in the book’s title sounds very restrictive, but really…it is not! I am eating my fill and feeling better; I also have more energy and have lost weight by adjusting what I eat!

It would be impossible to explain all I have learned in this single blog post, but here is a summary:

Eliminate Toxins, Lose Weight, and Increase Energy
When naturally balanced, your body is alkaline. A diet high in meat, dairy, and sugar overwhelms your body with acidic waste, resulting in weight gain, low energy, poor skin, and brittle bones. An alkaline diet also helps with fibromyalgia pain and chronic fatigue.

The pH Balance Diet explains how to correct imbalances, eliminate toxic overload and reverse acid buildup. It offers a gradual, healthy approach to restoring your body's natural acid-alkaline balance, including:

• Easy-to-follow, three-phase program
• Tips on how to eat fewer acid-forming foods
• A handy list of the top 80 alkaline-forming foods
• Information on free radicals and antioxidants

In a Nutshell…
I have tried to avoid (or severely limit!): sugar, simple carbohydrates, refined and processed foods, dairy food products, processed salt, saturated and other unhealthy fats, alcohol, caffeine, artificial sweeteners.

Tofu and Veggie Stir Fry

I have eaten (in generous amounts): dark green & yellow vegetables and fruit. I don’t think I have ever eaten so many veggies! I have enjoyed trying new recipes and exchanging ideas with Linda, Laura, and Joshua.

The book includes over 40 quick and delicious recipes featuring alkaline-forming ingredients such as avocados, cantaloupe, eggplant, kiwis, lentils, mushrooms, peppers, rye bread, salmon, soymilk, turkey, and wild rice.

I would also recommend reading Eat to Live, by Dr. Joel Fuhrman (really good!) and The pH Miracle, by Robert Young & Shelley Redford Young.

I am so thankful for all this new information and am excited about the good results. I am convinced it is very worthwhile to give this book … The pH Balance Diet … a look!

Meeting New Peeps

Kris and Karen - another strong couple who have
worked through cancer together. They're avid travelers,
have huge hearts, and are great snowshoe buddies!

It feels great to forge new friendships that will be cultivated for a reason, season, or lifetime.

Thanks to breast cancer and my being open to getting to know folks, I've met and hope to continue to meet new people near and far. There's something different in the air when you meet other peeps who are also walking along a different life trajectory because of cancer. You can cut through the surface-level talk quickly and dive deep. You can feel a sense of understanding. Of empathy. Of sisterhood.

Don't get me wrong - just because two people have/had cancer doesn't mean you're going to be besties. It's just like everybody else; some gel with you and others don't. However, what a rewarding experience when a budding relationship comes along because of something not-so-great in life. Another silver lining.

Earlier in 2012...
Me, Dakota, Stephanie, and Jo - Officially known as the Can-Can girls!
(for more than one reason)

Jo multitasking at Dakota's workplace.

Me, Dakota, and Stephanie hamming it up at Dial Global.

The Can-Can girls are a breath of fresh air. We talk about anything and everything...so long as we can remember what we're talking about!  :)  Anything goes and nothing is taboo. We get silly, talk serious, and have lots of belly laughs together. Interested in learning more about these other fantastic women? Good! Jo and Stephanie both have blogs (click their names and you'll be transported to their sites).

Vicki's wenis.

At a bigger group gathering recently, I met a gaggle of women that were engaging, intelligent, and fun. And nearly all of us are cancer survivors. One of the women taught us all what a wenis is...and there were a TON of belly laughs when we all started comparing wenises/weni. Oh, the jokes just kept on coming!

Didja know?
wenis: the extra skin on your elbow

And, of course, there's a bunch of "dependables" -- peeps near and far who have been courageous enough to share the suffering with me. These are family, friends, neighbors, pen pals, acquaintances, and some individuals that I've never met in person. You know who you are. 

Some of my nearby dependables: Sarah, moi, Denise, Chana
So creative! They brought 2 "jugs" of flowers to celebrate Laura, version 3.0!

Thanks to ALL you peeps for your support and friendship!

Early September Roundup

Joshua: dead or alive? Even I wasn't sure.

Wow. Is it September already? That's what the trusty calendar says, but I'm having a hard time believing it. My 2nd stage reconstruction surgery was 5 weeks ago. I've been given the green light to slowly start increasing my activity. Which doesn't mean jogging...no, I'm not there yet. But it does mean I can walk more, increase my heart rate some, and begin stretches and movement that I was not supposed to do the previous 4 weeks.

Adam relaxing on the hammock. 

My brother came for a quick visit over Labor Day weekend. I enjoyed seeing him and getting caught up on his life. It's weird sometimes living so far apart. I had planned to visit Adam and Jeney in New York this summer, but those plans didn't work as we had expected. So I hope to go sometime next year after we've/they've thawed out. I'm glad Adam decided to come visit and check in on us.

Oot and aboot in Colorado together.

Adam's dish in progress.

Adam cooked a quick, easy, and YUMMY meal while he was here that I plan to make myself in a couple of days. Ever heard of tomatillos? That's one of the main ingredients. Curious little things! Helping him prep this meal was the first time I'd "met" a tomatillo up close. His and Jeney's blog has his Baked Shrimp with Tomatillos recipe + instructions. If you try it, please leave a comment with your review!

Adam served the dish with whole wheat tortillas. You could also serve over quinoa for a non-wheat alternative. Quinoa cooks in ~10-15 minutes and is a great source of complete protein. Check out this math: every 3.5oz of uncooked = 14 grams of protein! Give it a try - you might like it.

Adam and his nips
encouraged us all to be silly.

Adam's not telling what he just did...

Oh, look! A good picture!

Coo Coo for Coconut Oil

What’s the deal with coconut oil?
With Costco carrying vat sized barrels of organic coconut oil we are seeing an increase in popular demand for what used to be a specialty health food item. Whether it is the versatility, healthful aspects, or simple hype that is driving more people to try the switch to this plant-based fat, we jumped on the bandwagon and want to share our experiences since making the switch.

Image courtesy of Wikipedia

Why did our family start using coconut oil?
After reading about the dangers of using oils with low smoke points and the toxins found in hydrogenated GMO oils, we began researching what oils we should and shouldn't be using. Time and time again organic coconut oil appeared in our research and its uses are many.

Like the other health aware changes we have made in our lives, things happen incrementally for us and there is generally a “getting used to the change” curve. Being open to the process of trying healthy alternatives and stepping out of the status quo are empowering paths to tread upon. Our goal is to restore as much of the natural balance to our lives as we can, while continuing to live in the modern world.

Healthy change is an iterative process and should be explored with an open, malleable mind. We try to take it easy on ourselves when embarking down a new path and keep our judgements balanced when doing our research. Unhealthy food is big business so there is sometimes trickery going on to get us away from simpler, healthier alternatives like minimally processed, locally grown organic foods. This broken nutrition cycle is lightheartedly demonstrated in the below image, but carries a serious message:

An inconvenient truth.
Courtesy of Joseph Jenkins, "Humanure Handbook"

We like to keep things simple when it comes to nutrition and try to choose the most direct path from plant to mouth. Common sense and good judgement are always handy to have around when trying something new. For example we limit our usage of coconut oil, because it is a saturated fat and is new to our diets. We currently have about 1-2 tablespoons per person on a daily basis as a substitution for where we used to use butter or vegetable oil. Extra virgin olive oil is still a regular staple in our house, but generally only as an after cooking drizzle or dipping sauce.

How do we use coconut oil?
It started with stir fry. It was the first recipe that we replaced our [insert highly processed GMO oil] in favor of coconut oil. As we got used to the slightly different taste of cooking with the new oil, things really took off. Eggs, cookies, popcorn... Coconut oil turns to liquid at 76F degrees, so depending on our house temperature it may be in liquid, solid, or a mixed states. It even goes camping with us in a little Nalgene container.

What kind of coconut oil is best?
There is a little bit of a variety within USDA organic coconut oils, but the short and skinny is to avoid any hydrogenated, refined product and get the virgin, organic, unrefined stuff.

When I bought our first bottle, I thought "Holy cow! The refined variety is way less than the unrefined kind!" and I let price drive my purchase. You have to be driven by putting your health before your wallet when buying more expensive healthier alternatives. So after learning what refined coconut oil, also labeled hydrogenated, or partially hydrogenated, really was it went back to the store in favor of the unrefined variety.

We choose to support sustainable businesses valuing human life above shelf life with our dollars.

When people talk about refined or hydrogenated product they are saying, “This here food turned rancid, so we are going to mix it with some chemicals to make it edible again. We can even put in some chemical coloring, flavor and preservatives to make this food unnaturally addictive and last forever."

I want to know more! What are some good resources?
Read Clean Cuisine & More: Is the saturated fat in coconut harmful? and this Coconut Oil article from TreeLight, a great health information resource.

Wondering what all you can do with all of your coconut oil, check out Crunchy Betty's: A Millionish Uncommon and not so Uncommon Uses for Coconut Oil and Hybrid Rasta Mama's 333 Uses For Coconut Oil.

And some more technical articles from Mercola: Coconut In support of Good Health in the 21st Century and The Truth About Saturated Fats.

Breast Reconstruction with Implants 101

For those wondering, curious, or underinformed: here's some information about the process of breast reconstruction with implants.

My plastic surgeon used AlloDerm to help support my future breasts. The AlloDerm was placed during my first (double mastectomy) surgery and some additional AlloDerm was used during my 2nd stage reconstruction surgery. What's AlloDerm? Watch the YouTube video below to find out what it is, why it's used, and how it works:

from: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KcXt3dJI_w

I'd like to call your attention to the placement of AlloDerm and also the placement of the implant - it's nestled between pectoralis muscles. Sounds nice and cozy...and it is...for the implant! Not as comfy for the muscle that's stretched OVER the implant. Those expander fillings I experienced late last year and this year were sometimes difficult to take (muscle relaxers helped on a few occasions). From time to time, I still feel twinges of pain from the muscles - especially on my right (radiated) side. The right side has a different battle because of the radiation. The daily morning massages and mashing is an effort to counteract radiation's lasting effects.

New to the mix as of last week: introducing arm stretches that work on increasing my range of motion and help loosen the pecs. They are painful to do right now and I can't stretch nearly as far as I was able to before my 2nd stage reconstruction. But I've been in a similar position before - after my 1st stage reconstruction last October - so I know it'll take time...months...to work on getting the pecs, shoulders, arms, and everything related in better shape.

If you've been reading this blog a while, you've probably noticed that I give proper credit to other sources of information, videos, and images. So I'll be upfront right now and say I honestly have no idea when I acquired these images - nor which blog they came from. I do remember finding a blog with these images and thought they accurately portrayed what reconstruction with implants (after a mastectomy) is like. They're so informative that I'm going to use them anyway, and if I ever find the originator of these illustrations, I'll give proper credit!

A great transparent view.

See all the muscle attachment in the armpit area?
That's where I really feel the tightness from lymph nodes taken, radiation,
and my pecs stretched over the implants.

A graphic illustraction if 1st, 2nd, and 3rd stage reconstruction.
Nipple tattooing is the  4th stage.