The Cherry on Top

A while back I declared to Joshua: "I've decided to just go ahead and order some nipples. So I'm going to do it - now." And I did.

Excited at the possibilities...

What a weird thing to tell your husband. And what a strange thing to shop for online. It's a mixed bag of emotions from my perspective: absurd, serious, and a little humorous. When the temporary tattoos from Rub-On Nipples (yeah, that's what I said) were en route to our home, I was looking forward to experimenting with them. 

While I had good intentions of applying a pair right away, it just didn't happen. Why? I think I was a bit nervous. What if my emotional self couldn't handle this experiment that stemmed from good intentions? What if I applied them lopsided and they ended up "looking" in different directions? These little pesky fears delayed me trying them...until our earthship vacation!

Boy, was I glad I finally got around to trying them!

For those women out there who have had a mastectomy and are electing to not have nipple reconstruction -OR- for those that elect to have nipple reconstruction but need to "fill the void" before that time comes, I believe these temporary tattoos offer an great alternative. Once I had mine on, it was like a puzzle piece came together - not only visually on my body, but especially in my mind. The girls really look like "girls!" There's a visual clue there that has been missing and my mind enjoys the relief of glancing at the mirror and seeing what it used to see and what the eye/brain combo is wanting to see when it looks at a chest: the "cherry on top," so to speak.

Top: colors in the "light variety" pack
Bottom: before and after

To see their color palette, size info, and dye info, click here.

I wanted to share a special offer* from Rub-On Nipples:  Save 10%!

Customer Appreciation Discount:   A 10% discount will calculate in your shopping cart with the code "March" (enter the code without quotation marks). The option to add the coupon code is on the last page of ordering, just prior to the request for credit card/PayPal information. (The price reduction does not apply to shipping and handling charges.)
Offer Expires:   March 31, 2013
To purchase:   click here.

*So you know: I am in no way affiliated with this company, nor do I receive any kind of kickback on sales made. Just want that to be clear. 

~  ~  ~  ~  ~  An Aside  ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

(source)

Joshua and I were watching a 1968 documentary recently. It reminded me a lot of the projector films we used to watch in elementary school because of the way it was filmed, narrated, and the background music. One thing the narrator said cracked me up and I had to put it on this blog somehow. Methinks this is just where it belongs:

"He doesn't need no nipple." 

--Gordon Eastman referring to 5-lb bear drinking milk from a can 

From High, Wild, and Free, a 1968 film in which Gordon Eastman takes his two sons on a journey to the wilds of British Columbia fishing, hunting, canoeing down miles of wild water, living with Indians and trapping beaver. Available on Netflix streaming. 

Young cubs can survive without their mother's nipples. I've been surviving without mine. Still, it's nice to see them again and I think I'm onto something...

Update: The Ta-Ta Times' fundraiser

The Ta-Ta Times' fundraiser
tally as of today.

The final tally is in! Check it out!     -------->      -------->      -------->

On March 3, new donations came in that nearly doubled what we had amassed previously. That's amazing and I am so proud of what we accomplished together! Thank you for your contributions, support, and encouragement.

Many thanks to those of you that donated on the inaugural Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) Day:

B. St Clair-Borrero, B. Bob Bodingus (!), B. Bull,
J. Moody, R. Vaughn, B. Roberts

The day after the big fundraising "push," I received an email from the TNBC Foundation; here's a portion of that email:

With your help, we have raised over $200,000 (donations are still coming in!) and priceless awareness for triple negative breast cancer! 

These funds will help us in our mission to be a credible source for triple negative breast cancer information, a catalyst for science and patient advocacy groups, and a caring community with meaningful services for patients and their families.

The TNBC Foundation's fundraising page for Colorado.
Highlighted both for events in Colorado and as an "event for everyone."

ALSO . . . I found out that my event fundraising page will remain active until the end of March! So for friends and family who missed TNBC Day and would still like to make a donation, please consider doing so. Think about tax time! Need to help your numbers with a charitable donation line item? This is one way to do just that.

Although I didn't participate in a physical "event" for people to attend, fundraising seemed quite successful via this blog, the TNBC Foundation site, Facebook, and word-of-mouth. This is something I'd like to do again in the future. It just feels right to do a bit part in raising funds for organizations that offer valuable support to other people going through a journey similar to my own.

I applaud your efforts to support a foundation you might never have heard of before and individuals you'll most likely never meet! After all, where would we all be without the support of others?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

To support the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation

via the Ta-Ta Times' fundraiser for TNBC page,

click HERE.

Our Off-Grid Experience

In February, Joshua and I took some time to get out of town. For quite some time, we've been interested in alternative building techniques and wanted to explore the idea of eventually living in a rammed earth, straw-bale, tire-bale, or other sort of home.

That dream was put on the back burner when we moved here, bought our current home, and got busy with life. Early this year, our curiosity was rekindled and we decided to stay in a rental that was built with alternative means.

What the heck is that? It's an earthship!
(click to enlarge)

Enter Earthship Biotecture - they develop passive solar homes made of natural and recycled materials and are located just 4-5 hours from us (just outside of Taos, New Mexico). Without getting too much into the sustainability aspect of this type of building (although I find that fascinating, this post would be much too long), I wanted to share some of our adventure with you.

Joshua and I have made a lot of changes throughout our relationship. Most recently, though, our changes have been because of information we've gathered largely since my diagnosis. We are making more informed choices about the foods we eat, the chemicals we have (or no longer have) in our home, what we choose to keep in our life, and what we choose to slough off.

For me, spending a week living in an earthship was an exhilarating experience. I felt nurtured after living closer to the earth for a week. It seemed much more in line with the other lifestyle choices we've been working towards: less chemicals, more sustainability aspects, and clean living!

The Greater World Earthship Community is located
12 miles NW from Taos, NM.
You can see the Rio Grande Gorge in this picture.

Our home for a week: the 'Euro' Model Earthship.

Some intriguing design features: bottles in walls (cans and tires, too), vigas, and manual vents.

Releasing, opening, and securing the home's top air vents.

Most earthships have rounded, bulbous design features.
The construction means lend itself to looking that way.

A view from the shower shown above.
See the plants?
They're in the bathroom growing out of dirt in the floor watered from gray water used in the home!

The earthship model uses water four times before it is discarded outside the home in a leach field. Awesome!

From water collected from the roof/structure and stored in cisterns, you get...
1. drinking water (it's super-filtered), sink/shower water (also filtered)
2. plants (which filter the water, too)
3. toilet water for flushing
4. a solar-enhanced septic tank with leach-field and planter cells

We decided to forego the trip into town for a laundromat.
We washed our clothes in the bathtub, rung them out, and hung them to dry! 

Interestingly, the earthship maintained a consistent inner temperature of ~70 degrees during the day, ~65 at night. The greenhouse portion ranged 80-90 degrees during the day. This was with daytime temperatures barely reaching 30 most days - impressive!

We never felt as though we had less or were having to live without. Laundry hookups were in the pantry area - we'd probably like that in our home, but it was fun doing it by hand and drying it in the greenhouse. The propane oven and ample kitchen sinks made not having a microwave or dishwasher a piece of cake! Electricity was plentiful even on snowy days; we were mindful about not using electricity when it wasn't necessary. By living "off grid," you learn what you really can do without. We are so used to having (and paying for) an unlimited power supply and not thinking about it.

In the greenhouse area, you can grow plants year-round.
Some of the plants we could ID in our rental: banana tree, jade,
aloe, geranium, chard, mint, spiderwort... the list goes on!

Happy campers after experiencing off-grid life for a week. 

I'm curious to hear from blog readers! My questions for you are:

• Have you heard about passive solar, rammed earth, straw-bale, or tire-bale homes before?
• Have you ever stayed in an alternatively-constructed home?
• Do you know anyone that's built a home with alternative construction means?
• What concerns would you have about living or staying in one?

Inaugural TNBC Day

This fundraising event ends today!

To support the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation by the end of today:

click HERE.

Look at what we've done together!
What will today bring?

Today is the day: the inaugural Triple Negative Breast Cancer (TNBC) Day! I feel good about taking this day and doing something with it - thank you for helping make that possible! It feels so good to support the TNBC Foundation.

This foundation is dedicated to finding a successful treatment and cure for TNBC as well as providing information and support to the TNBC community.

Mission:
To raise awareness of TNBC and to support scientists and researchers in their effort to determine the definitive causes of triple negative breast cancer, so that effective detection, diagnosis, prevention and treatment can be pursued and achieved.

Company Overview:
The TNBC Foundation was founded in 2006 in honor of Nancy Block-Zenna, a young woman who was diagnosed at age 35 with TNBC and died 2-1/2 years later in 2007.

In response to Nancy's diagnosis, her close friends launched the TNBC Foundation to raise awareness and support research in the area of TNBC.

Felt good to get a nod from the TNBC Foundation
in support of my fundraising efforts.

A most gracious shout-out to those of you who have contributed already: 

A. Milam, A. Sapp, A. Ayson, 

B. St Clair-Borrero, A. Ayson, E. Ayson, 

E. Yale, H. Shaunty, J. Rollins, J. Allman, 

J. Myers, K. Butvilofsky, L. Birch, 

M. LeRoy, S. Bull, S. Peterson.

As an individual with TNBC, I am touched by your generosity - every one of you. When my request was approved to participate in this fundraiser, there were just 16 days left. -- Just LOOK at what can happen in a couple of weeks! Thank you for your support of this foundation, my fundraising efforts, my spouse, me and my journey, and my family.

There is no "good" cancer to have. It's all bad - the level depending on each person's diagnosis and journey. We are like snowflakes; nobody is exactly alike. Nor may be our treatments in the future. Thank you for supporting a foundation that is trying to unravel the unknowns behind my particular diagnosis.

I plan on meditating about this day and what it means to me at a gong bath tonight. What a great way to process this overwhelming occasion.

a reminder: This fundraising event ends today!

To support the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation by the end of today:

click HERE.

A Pink Portrait

Finally I can upload this post! It's been waiting in the sidelines - because it involved some holiday surprises that I didn't want to reveal ahead of time.
--------------

Melissa - the first recipient
of The Wedding Pink.

Melissa (a BC survivor I met through the Young Empowered Survivor group) and Jeff (her then-fiancé) received a wedding giveaway a couple of years ago. It was made possible via The Wedding Pink, a giveaway presented to a couple whose lives have been recently touched by breast cancer. It's a spectacular event held for one couple each year. Cheryl Ungar, the founder, is a 21-year breast cancer survivor herself. Although the focus of this blog post isn't about the weddings she orchestrates and photographs, I would like to promote this wonderful opportunity in case blog readers know of well-suited couples (now, or in the future) that may want to apply for this giveaway. Check out this informative page for submission guidelines, what the wedding includes, and additional information. The three 'biggie' submission guidelines are:

- Your life must have been recently touched by breast cancer. The experience is not limited to the bride, but could be with the bride or groom's extended family.
- You must be engaged or soon-to-be engaged at the time you submit your story.
- Submissions are open to legal residents of the United States.

Cheryl's philanthropy doesn't stop there. She also set up Pink Portraits - complimentary photo sessions for breast cancer survivors. I knew about this opportunity in late 2011. I checked her web site occasionally, looking for new portrait subjects and their stories. I loved the pictures. I laughed, nodded, and cried when I read their stories. Still, I wasn't sure about contacting her or doing it until the time felt right. I hoped that time would sneak up on me. And it did!

Cheryl (photographer), and Natosha Cooke (makeup artist) arrived at our home and for the next two hours I got to know them, they got to know me, Natosha made me up (not clown face, just me - enhanced!), and Cheryl worked hard at trying to get her subject to "work it."  :)  It was a positive experience full of meaning.

When I saw her photographs from our session, I was in awe. And I wondered: Was that me?! How did she manage to capture my micro-expressions that so clearly express who I am? What will I look like a year from now? and on...

These pictures were taken after all of my surgeries and treatments. My hair had grown in and I felt better than I had in >18 months. Choosing to have pictures taken when I did ended up having a lot more weight and meaning than I anticipated. I think I look strong, calm, and maybe even a little mischievous in some of the photos.

I am reminded of what I've gone through and how life has changed for me.

I am reminded of my own mortality.
I see a person eager to live life.
I see a fighting spirit.
I see a loving being.
I see life. And possibilities.

To read my story as written by Melissa (yes--it's the same gal that's pictured at the top of this post), check out "I Rocked the Bald Look!" on Cheryl's blog.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~   Fundraising Update   ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Please continue to help me raise funds to support awareness of and support for the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation. I am a TNBC warrior myself! 

My goal is to raise $3,333 by March 3, 2013. 
As of today, some of you have helped me raise $1,074. 
There are 6 days left to raise funds. 
Please help and/or pass on the word! 

Hey, tax time is just around the corner. Need to help your numbers with a charitable donation line item? This is one way to do just that!  

To go to my personal fundraising page, find out more information,
or to donate, click HERE.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~ ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ ~  ~  ~  ~  ~ ~  ~  ~  ~  ~

Help Raise Awareness/Funds for TNBC

Now that's a day with which I can identify!

I'm putting out an APB for all you blog followers out there far and wide. Here's the deal: In June 2011, I was diagnosed with triple negative breast cancer (TNBC). Boy, that was a day that quite literally rocked my world. What? - Me? Cancer?! Throughout the initial diagnosis and further tests to gain information about what my exact nemesis was...I wanted to learn as much I could about this journey and the sub-type of cancer that was calling my body "home." One statistic I learned early on is that triple negative breast cancers account for about 15% of all breast cancers.

Fast-forward to late January of this year: I found out the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation (TNBCF) is having its inaugural TNBC Day on March 3, 2013. I really wanted to be part of this special day - which I hope continues in future years. So I submitted information about conducting an online awareness/fundraising campaign and was approved a couple of days ago.

Will you please help me meet my goal of raising $3,333 to support this valuable foundation by March 3, 2013? If the answer is yes - or even maybe - please click on the following link to be taken to my official fundraising page: The Ta-ta Times' fundraiser for TNBC. It's a lofty goal and a quick turnaround time, but I'm confident I can make a dent in my goal with your help (and by putting some of our own money where my mouth is, too)!

If you know others that have been diagnosed with triple negative BC, the TNBCF can be a great resource for them - to find information, learn accurate statistics, seek others with the same diagnosis, etc.

A bit about the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation:
The TNBCF was founded in 2006 in honor of Nancy BlockZenna, who was diagnosed at the age of 35 with triple negative breast cancer before succumbing to the disease in 2007. In response to Nancy’s diagnosis, her friends identified a need to create a central source of information for this dangerous and aggressive form of breast cancer, about which little was known just a short time ago. It is the Foundation’s mission to raise awareness of triple negative breast cancer and to support scientists and researchers in their effort to determine the disease’s definitive causes, so that effective detection, diagnosis, prevention and treatment can be pursued and achieved.

The TNBCF supports the triple negative breast cancer community in many ways:
• They host regular “think tanks” which are attended by the top doctors and researchers in the field, to create roadmaps for a cure for triple negative breast cancer.
• They offer research grant support to encourage the launch of projects aimed at finding targeted treatments for triple negative disease.
• They co-sponsor a $6.4 million Promise Grant with Susan G. Komen for the Cure, which is aimed at finding a targeted therapy for triple negative disease.
• They offer a financial assistance program to help women with triple negative breast cancer afford transportation, child care and other expenses associated with their treatment.
• They continuously expand their website, www.tnbcfoundation.org, and offer an ever-growing resources section and up-to-the-minute information about the disease.
• They host online forums which offer the TNBC community a central place to go for support and information about the disease.
• They offer a TNBC Helpline, where patients can call and speak with oncology social workers specifically trained to address the needs of the TNBC community.
• They work to educate patients about TNBC through teleconferences and webinars, and with printed and online materials that have proven to be essential resources for newly diagnosed patients.

My goal is to raise $3,333 

to support the Triple Negative Breast Cancer Foundation 

by March 3, 2013.

To donate, click HERE.

A Name

Whatever I call mine - at least
they don't look like hers!

What's in a name?

Is that which we call breasts by any other name just as good as the real thing?

My take on this is: not really. But it's the best runners-up option I've got.

What do I call what's on my chest now?

Boobs? Boobies? My chest? Tits? Breasts? Lady lumps? Lady bumps? Foobs (fake boobs)? Jugs? Hooters? Bee stings? -ha! No way! 

Breasticles? Cans? Sweater puppies? Fun bags? The girls? Headlights? The twins? Naughty pillows? Rack? Sweater meat? -nope, probably not that one, either. 

Melons? Bazongas? Rib cushions?

What would you call them if they were yours? Or, if you don't want to think that way, what would you call mine? C'mon! Get creative. I know you're out there . . .

Our Insurance Company DKS*

I suppose insurance companies are a necessary evil. While I am oh-so-glad to have the coverage we do, I occasionally get a little nuts-o when dealing with them. Like to the point where my head might do an Exorcist-type spin. It's not easy being your own advocate amidst an industry full of red tape. 

Anyway...

Our insurance company sent some interesting mail to me last week. It looked informative, touting a confidential health care summary and custom recommendations for "health opportunities" based on information received from my care providers and pharmacies. 

Okay, simple enough, right? 

Guess not. 

Look at this picture. See anything odd?

How about if I zoom in for you?

Seriously?!! One of my recommended opportunities is to have a mammogram this year? Hello, insurance: I'm no longer a candidate for that procedure - haven't been since October 2011. Sure seems like a techno-geek could make some check-boxes in a data entry form so that the double mastectomy subscribers don't get this in the mail. 

Granted, there's the "if this applies to you" CYA phrase in there, so I can't really go off on this, but it strikes me as puzzling. Mostly, I'm humored by this document. Still, it does have a cutting edge.

*DKS = doesn't know sh*t

Yoga

Our yoga class isn't about being a human pretzel.
Silly Stephanie was getting ahead of herself!

I'm taking a weekly yoga class at Oncology Rehab where I also receive lymphatic massages, get help with my range of motion, and take Pilates classes (which I've blogged about before).

Brianna, our yoga sensei.
Her hands are in lotus mudra.

I've found this yoga class to be vital to my mental health. It's easy to see the physical benefits by way of improved flexibility, strength, and posture. I've also gained new confidence with my modified body and its capabilities. The price is fair, the teacher is knowledgeable (about yoga AND survivors' bodies), the "chemosabes" are friendly, and the personal gain is priceless!

Things we learn about and focus on in our classes:

• yoga poses (obvious, but...)
• chakras (locations, elements, colors, meanings)
• being content with what our bodies are able to do that day; each session is different
• breathing techniques
• focusing on yourself; not comparing to others
• hand mudras

What's a mudra? A symbolic gesture involving the hands and fingers.

Brianna's hands are in lotus mudra (above): by touching the base of the palms together, touching the tips of the pinky fingers, and touching the tips of the thumbs together. The inner 3 fingers form a cup to complete the lotus blossom.

The 7 chakras. Click to enlarge.
(source)

This mudra is good for times of loneliness, as an open heart can bring love and companionship back into your life.

In Buddhism, the lotus blossom represents a heart opening. The lotus flower blooms on the surface of water, with its roots deep below in mud—making it a symbol of light and beauty emerging from darkness. The fingers resemble a lotus flower unfolding. Feel connected to your roots, and remember that the greatest source of steadiness in life is an awakened heart. (source)

A beautiful wall
hanging with mudra.
(source)

To add an affirmation to mudras, you can say them (in your head, or everyone's gonna hear you!) on each inhale, such as:

“I open my heart to receive whatever comes my way today.”
"I'm a creative being."
"Every cell inside me vibrates with health and energy."
"I choose to make the rest of my life the best of my life."
"Today I'm a kick-a$$ survivor."
"I am satisfied with where I'm at today."
"Loving myself heals my life." 

Still not sold on this new-agey activity? Open yourself up to the possibilities. And get with the times: 1 in 10 Americans practices yoga! Not that I just used the ol' "everybody's doing it" argument or anything ... oops. You don't have to take my word for it, either. Check out this Health Benefits of Yoga infographic. It's not so much graphic as it is information, but the benefits are clear: circulation, stress, heart disease, depression, back pain...the list goes on.

You can even take a moment to focus inward
and practice a mudra while snowshoeing. 

ANYone can come to these yoga classes (meaning able-bodied, modified, radiated, broken, healing, whatever you are). If you live in Colorado, this resource might be just what you're looking for:

Yoga classes at Oncology Rehab

Wednesday evenings  6-7pm

Friday afternoons  1-2pm  

email Brianna : brianna@oncologyrehab.net 

or 

call the front desk : (720) 306-8261

Snowflakes for Sandy Hook

After December's tragic events at Sandy Hook Elementary school, I received a "volunteer challenge" via email. Immediately, I knew that taking part was important and would be giving in several ways.

Red Panda Beads is a source for some of my creative materials. Betsy, the owner, saw that the Connecticut Parent Teacher Student Association (CT PTSA) wanted to greet the Sandy Hook children to a "winter wonderland" when they started back to school in January.  They were asking for contributions of "unique snowflakes" which brought her snowflake wire forms (sold her web site) to mind. She asked volunteers to create and send her snowflakes; she'd batch ship them to Sandy Hook's PTA. What a great idea! [side note: Betsy even offered to send wire forms to people with postage-paid return envelopes.]

So on Christmas Eve day, Joshua and I took time to make a batch of whimsical snowflakes to send. We kept the returning children, parents of these children, and the lost individuals in our minds. Our thoughts and conversation ebbed and flowed as we worked. It felt cathartic and we shipped the snowflakes right after Christmas, wanting them to arrive in time for Betsy's shipment to the PTA.

...fast-forward nearly 3 weeks...

Betsy received an email with this link - basically, the PTA closed the Snowflake Project because of an overwhelming response.  :(  She didn't let this stop her efforts, though, because she got creative and came up with another way to help. She is listing all of the snowflakes made and sent to her at a flat price, donating sales to the Sandy Hook PTA.

A call to action:
Please consider visiting Betsy's online shop and purchasing one or more of these crafted snowflakes. They are listed at a flat price of $10. So far, there are 113 snowflakes listed for sale, and I've got a hunch that many more will be added over time. Betsy's quick thinking will ensure that the beaded snowflakes will not go to waste! Funds raised will help contribute to the children. Also, you'll get a snowflake to use as a decoration, as a reminder, and/or as a gift to another.

If buying a beaded snowflake to raise funds isn't your thing, there are specific other ways you can help - including donating directly on the CT PTSA site. Click here for those options.

Will you help, too?