Photo Shoot with Chana

I have a friend that loves taking photos. I'd venture so far as to say it's a passion of hers. Chana has great natural talent in photo composition and framing subjects. For some time, she's shared her family vacation photos with me. Many of her pictures are carefully crafted and make fantastic artwork.

At one of my doctor's offices, I found a book called Cup Half Full: Life in the Face of Breast Cancer. Looking at those pictures was a powerful experience for me and got me ruminating about documenting parts of this journey with Chana's help. I shared the Cup Half Full images with her; we also saw the SCAR project documentary together.  

The weekend prior to the clinical trial start date (early Feb'12), Chana came to our house for a photo shoot. Joshua and I didn't exactly know what we were doing, but tried out best to be good subjects for her camera. Thank you, Chana, for the gifts of your time, energy, and creativity. 

We think the resulting photographs are wonderful! We'd like to share some of the G-rated pictures with you. 

So, what's next?

That seems to be on everyone's mind, including my own. 

April:

• Recover from chemo: that's first on my list! Nutrition, exercise, rest, etc. Some cleansing/detoxing to help my system flush things out.
• Hearing exam: next week I'll have a follow-up hearing exam to compare to my baseline test. Cisplatin can have lasting effects on hearing; hopefully I'll avoid that. My ears are ringing loudly this week and I'm looking forward to that dissipating (for me, it usually starts tapering off the 3rd week after treatment)

May:

• Meet with Dr. K (oncologist): my first appointment with my oncologist since mid-December. I hope to have an informative meeting with her to discuss how radiation and the clinical trial went for me. She'll likely share "numbers" with me ( bloodwork analysis, survival stats, etc.). I hope to find out when my first post-op scan/test will be and what frequency I'll be checked in the future. After all, it would be nice to see an image of my body that doesn't light up at this point!
• Meet with clinical trial doc: a follow-up appointment 5 weeks after my last clinical trial infusion. I expect to review the effects I experienced, inquire about when I may know the study results, when/how they'll check in on me in the coming years. 
• Juicing getaway: nothing quite like delayed gratification! Because of my low counts now and for nutrition's sake, we've delayed a short little celebratory weekend away until late May.  We'll head to the mountains with mom for a 3-day juicing fest to cleanse our bodies and celebrate the clinical trial being over. 

June:

• Meet with Dr. B (plastic surgeon): now this is an appointment I'm excited about! Dr. B will have a look-see and determine how my skin and body has handled radiation and the additional chemo. We'll discuss next steps. I plan on asking more about types of implants, +/- to each, and when the grand switch-out surgery can take place. I hope to walk away from this appointment knowing an approximate date for when these rock-hard expanders get to leave the building!
• Airport adventures: I've been grounded for well over a year. Time to turn California dreamin' into reality! A special mother/daughter trip to make memories, see friends, and take my lymphedema sleeve/glove/gauntlet for a spin.

Depending on what I learn from Dr. B in June, I may make more plans further into the summer - or not. As soon as I get a "green light, go!" for switch-out surgery, count me pushing anything out of the way to make room for that surgery. Oh, happy day!

Foodgasms

image from damascusgrill.com

As I was munching on some hummus and a pita at lunch, out of my mouth came "mmm...foodgasm!" Food is something I've had a decent relationship with throughout life; recently, it's turned into a slight obsession.

Why?

I'm not sure. Here's my hypothesis: in days immediately post-chemo, I'm not as hungry as usual and non-spicy food is king. When I start emerging from this gastronomic funk, food is on my mind. Not just in the "What's for dinner?" type of way. No, it's beyond that. This is more of a "What will I have to eat next?" type of thinking AS I'm eating! During this part of the chemo cycle I cannot seem to shake food from my mind.

It struck me as humorous today that I'm having this weirdly obsessive relationship with food. So I'm admitting it to you. And sharing some of my obsessions as of late:

• hummus and pitas
• green shakes
• Mediterranean, Indian, and Greek foods
• apples, people, APPLES!
• mac & cheese (my dirty little secret)

Do other people have foodgasms? I'm curious to read your comments.

Leaving Chemo Behind

Here we go!

As Laura has indicated, we were on pins and needles, so to speak, for a bit Monday while her WBC counts were being retested. Oddly enough, we were happy when her stair "running" bumped up the numbers enough for this last treatment. (Who knew that was possible and would work?!)

Since the beginning of the clinical trial, we had hoped to go outside on the patio for a time, and this time the weather cooperated. So, when Joshua took some time off work and brought in some yummy sandwiches, we just hauled Laura's IV pump outdoors and had a celebratory picnic.

Joshua came during lunch for the final infusion!

Number 4: check!

It was a beautiful day to be outside for a bit.

She looks different at the
end of treatment.

The treatment went smoothly. However, as usual, once the Cisplatin coursed through Laura's veins, her skin paled and her eyes lost that normal sparkle. That stuff is fast-acting and strong! By the time we headed home, she was very tired and her level of energy dipped even further in the evening, resulting in a very early bedtime.

And yet, the next morning after breakfast and meds, she was ready to try a "short" walk around the neighborhood. Laura never fails to surprise us with her strength! Agreeing that we could turn around at any time, we walked slowly and kept going and going.... Maybe it was the warm day and the Colorado sunshine, or perhaps it was the beautiful spring growth and scenery, along with conversations about all that Laura is looking forward to after this recuperation phase, but somehow she managed a 4.5 mile walk! Wow! Today's outdoor walk was not quite as long, but at over three miles, I'd say she's pushing that chemo around in her body!

During some of our conversations, Laura has shared how much it has meant to her to receive such strong support from friends and family. So once again, thank you to all who have reached out with cards and letters, emails, delivered meals, help with Laura and Joshua's housecleaning, and encouraging phone calls. When life delivers challenges such as this, it is clear that we can make a difference by "being there." Laura and Joshua have noted and appreciated each and every instance of support, encouragement, and help. Just a word from a mom: although Laura's chemo is complete, her journey continues. There remains reconstructive surgery, followup checks, scans, and more. Also ahead are adventures, travels, and normal life joys and challenges. Hopefully, we can all remember ways to keep up the support that has meant so much.

Thank you to Laura and Joshua for showing us how to deal with challenges!

Hair it is!

While I've mentioned my hair growth in past posts, I've forgotten to include pictures. Below are a couple to give you an idea of what's going on up top. The eyebrows are still working on making a comeback. Oh-so-slowly. More recent pics coming soon with mom's blog post about the final infusion and beyond.

Taken in early March.
I'm wondering what to do with it.

Also taken in early March.
Look at those curls and waves!

Milestone: Final Cisplatin Treatment!

Today is the day I thought wouldn't get here fast enough. It's the last cisplatin treatment I'll receive for the clinical trial. I still have a rough patch ahead of me, but I know it's the last one.

We had a rocky start to the day: my bloodwork results showed that my neutrophils were low...too low for treatment. Mine were at 1.2; 1.5 is the minimum. What to do? Run stairs. I jogged (as best I could) up and down 3 flights of stairs three times. Then straight back to get more blood drawn then wait. Aaah, the waiting. It was a long 1/2 hour before we found out that my little stair episode helped enough - my neutrophils came back at 1.5! Just enough to get my last chemo on time. Hip-hip-hooray!

FYI: low neutrophils = neutropenia esp during nadir = high risk of infection = I won't be going out and about for a while. Much to my chagrin. :( Boo.

But back to the good part of this news: my final treatment IS today. I AM finishing the trial with hair-a-flying. Joshua came during his lunch hour to spend time with us and brought sandwiches to eat. And we DID get to go outside this time! Pictures to come of today's happenings.

This treatment is 4 of 4 with cisplatin. I've also had (last summer) 4 treatments of adriamycin/cytoxan, 1 of taxol, and 3 of abraxane. Cumulative time "on" chemo is 6 months. Wow. I'm lifting a bottle (of water) to the last 10 months...what a journey it's been so far, and I'm happy to say bye-bye to chemo.

Clinical Trial: 75% Complete

Pretty flowers from a friend.

Hi folks. It's me, Laura. I've felt guilty lately for not posting every other day like I was for a while. But not guilty enough to do something about it!

Getting on the computer the week of treatment for long is a hard sell; the second week (at least this last time) I didn't feel like doing much at all. This third week is a boon for me right before my last cisplatin infusion. Last Fri/Sat, I finally turned "the" corner and started feeling remarkably better. This cycle's roller coaster ride lasted longer than the past two.

Joshua and I enjoyed a long and peaceful bike ride together last weekend. We ended up riding 10 miles. This weekend I'm sure we'll have another outdoor adventure together. It's too good to pass up with this sunny and warm springtime weather. And let's face it: I've spent a LOT of time indoors over the last year, so getting out is fun and necessary!

We continue to receive meals from folks at Joshua's work and in our neighborhood. The healthy meals are tasty and we appreciate everyone's efforts to keep my dietary needs in mind. Thank you, thank you, thank you. I cannot say it enough!

My hair is still intact. Although I lost my eyebrows, they're already making a comeback. My hair is still here. It's growing and seems to be curly now! What a riot. Doesn't matter to me, though...hair is hair! It's great to have it. The clinical trial doc says I shouldn't count my chickens before they hatch. According to him, that's 1 month after my last treatment. So come May 16, if my hair is still hanging on, I think that's when it's safe to do a little "I kept my hair" happy dance. Boy, would I have felt STUPID if I had forged ahead with my plan to beat chemo to the punch by mohawking my hair back in early February. So glad I didn't do that...

So what's next? That seems to be the natural question at this point. Well, not so fast, you movers and shakers. That's for a future blog post.  :)  One step at a time. For now, I hope you enjoy reading this post.

Out and About

I'm feeling a lot different from just a couple of days ago. Once again it's nice to head into feeling well. High time for us to get out and bike together!