Fascinating Fuzz

My head hair regrowth is beginning! It's like a light halo around my head. Not enough to insulate well at all, but enough to notice and want to shout out to the world: look at me - my hair is growing!

See the fuzz? Forget the dark hairs you see.
That's some of my old hair that's being stubborn.
It falls out as the new growth pushes it out.
It also comes out when I pull it out, rub my head, or 3M roller my scalp.

An extremely close view of my scalp and the wild, wirey fuzz.
Proud to own my fuzz.

Home Sweet Home

Just had to let you all know that we are rejoicing because Laura got to come home yesterday. She began eating again and was able to drop the morphine and move on to oral painkillers. We packed her up and scooted her (gently) into the car on a day that was cold to say the least. Because of the winter storm, they had no power, so we all "nested" at my house, and Laura amazed us with her energy level throughout the rest of the day. Fortunately, power was returned and Joshua and Laura were able to return to their own home today -- ready to continue the healing and recovery process. Please continue your thoughts and prayers as Laura heals and becomes stronger in Phase 2 of her journey.

Slowly but Surely

A quick update on Laura's progress: Joshua spent the night with Laura in the hospital and reported that they had a sleepless night mostly because of Laura's nausea, so this factor has slowed her recovery. Through great effort she finally kept down a small bit of food and some of her bodily functions are returning -yea! Her pretty blue eyes are much more alert and she is sharing her sweet nature with the hospital staff.
When both surgeons visited Laura today, they were confident that the procedures were successful and that a positive pathology report is expected (by Thursday or Friday). We continue to pray that the report will confirm that there are NO live cancer cells !
The winter storm that rolled into Denver last night ended up much less severe than was forecast, so we have been able to get to the hospital easily. However, Laura & Joshua lost electricity late this afternoon so it is probably a good thing that Laura isn't quite ready to go home. But she has eaten again, and is off the morphine, so things are looking up ! Tomorrow Laura will probably get to go home !

Update from the hospital!

We just received wonderful news that Laura is now in recovery. Both the general and plastic surgeon's said everything went well. She will be in recovery for a couple of hours before we can see her. The expanders are in place and Laura was given 150 cc's of saline to get the stretching started. We are anxiously awaiting to see her early this evening amd hoping that the anesthethia does not cause too much nausea. Big sighs of relief and thank you to all of you who have been praying for us today.

Letting Go

The magical time has arrived. We're soon heading to the hospital. Joshua and/or my parents will be posting blog updates on how I'm doing post-surgery. Any comments you leave will get to me. I'll hop back online when I feel up to it.

Much like the sparklers in this picture,
my breasts will soon be things of the past.

Next time you see me, it'll be version 1.2 of Laura; one step on the way of becoming v2.0. Also, Phase 2 of Operation Kick the Crap out of Cancer will be over! (At least that's how I'm thinking of it.)

This transition is a tough one to wrap my head around; I imagine I'll be working through these feelings for some time to come. My breasts have mainly, until recently, been just another appendage on my body. Since June, I've had time to think about them, notice them, recognize changes in them, celebrate them, and say goodbye to them. I would love to keep them...if they weren't trying to kill me. Bad boobies! <sigh> It's come down to having to let them go.

I am ready for today. I am confident in my general surgeon's abilities. I am confident in my plastic surgeon's abilities. I know the anesthesiologist is well-versed in administering drugs to patients like me. I know there are many prayers being said for this surgery. I have the strength. Everything will work out as it should.

The Bye-bye Boobies Gathering

Yes, I really had a get-together to celebrate and say goodbye to my boobies. It was small, fairly low-key, and a positive experience. Here's a recap of that special night:

The color theme was black and pink. Everyone obliged - fantastically, in fact!

Chana, Sarah, me, and Denise.

Me & mom.

Even the socks were rockin' the night's colors.

We enjoyed great wine, good food, and fantastic conversations. (No recap of conversations, for fear of getting us all in trouble.)

Unbeknownst to me, there was a *big* surprise awaiting... A Caucasian boobie bust piñata. What a fantastic idea! We had fun with it and played around with it a bit (oh c'mon - you know what I mean).

Then it was time to take out our aggression towards breast cancer by doing some damage to the piñata. Denise was ready for the action - baseball bat and all.

Under the cloak of night, we strung up the piñata and sounded an air horn a few times. Then we went to town on those boobies. They didn't last long.

There were lots of goodies inside that flew everywhere! Pink and black socks, positive message erasers, a boobie basketball game, pink bead necklaces, silly string, dazzling rings and bracelets, and some unmentionables.

The morning after - the piñata aftermath.

They've got to go.

Thank you, ladies, for such a fun evening. I enjoyed the food, piñata festivities, and conversations...but most of all, your friendship and support.

Hanging On

Although my leg hair is (slowly) growing again, I've been losing more hair elsewhere. And I've been told to expect to lose every last remaining one one in the coming weeks. But I'm okay with that. Really. There are worse things than no hair! :)

So here are some close-up pictures of what my eyebrows and eyelashes look like this week. Click on the pictures if you'd like to see them enlarged.

I've got four eyelashes hanging on to the bottom.
But who's counting?

Thank goodness for eyebrow pencils.
And thank goodness for the ones hanging on -
they give me a template to work with.

The other eyebrow/eyelashes.

Gettin' pretty bare.
Some people wanna stare.
'Cause I don't have much hair.
And it's not because of Nair.
But I don't care.
In my future, it'll all be there.

Top 10: Why Chemotherapy is Great

Now that chemo is over, it's time to put together a "Top Ten" list! I hope to make one for each "phase" of this journey, because there really are some laughable if not just downright positive things to this experience.

1. Mandatory downtime during treatments (for me, this was a good thing).
2. Lose some weight. (I realize this depends on your particular regimen. During mine, I lost a few pounds. I attribute part of it to chemo and part to a strict alkaline diet.)
3. A free pass to do all those "nice" things you've wanted to do before but didn't allow yourself to: acupuncture, massage, wearing crazy wigs, etc.
4. Save money: no hair products or accessories.
5. No time spent shaving!!! Armpits, swimsuit line, and legs. No time spent plucking "grandma" hairs, lip hairs, etc.
6. Head rubs. :)
7. Go see [cancer] movie premieres and you get seated before everyone else.
8. How many other people get a rad, bionic port, eh?
9. The ever-nagging question about "what does my head look like under all that hair" is finally answered!
10. People come out of the woodwork to tell you and show you they care for you.

Opportunity for Locals (who have never had cancer)

Please contribute to this study if you're able.     

-Laura.

_____________________________________

CANCER PREVENTION STUDY-3 (CPS-3):

Volunteer today for a cancer-free tomorrow

The American Cancer Society is working on one of its biggest research projects ever – a ground-breaking study that will have an enormous impact on our ability to prevent cancer and create more birthdays – and we need your help.

We are inviting men and women between the ages of 30 and 65 years who have never had cancer to join the American Cancer Society's Cancer Prevention Study-3 (or CPS-3). The ultimate goal of this historic research study is to enroll at least 300,000 adults from various racial/ethnic backgrounds from across the United States. CPS-3 will help us better understand what causes cancer and how to prevent it, so we can save lives and create a world with less cancer and more birthdays.

Participation is easy!

• Prior to your appointment you will receive instructions on how to complete your first, most comprehensive survey online. This survey will take approximately 45 minutes to complete.

Your in-person enrollment will take approximately 20-30 minutes and will involve: 

• Completing a second, brief survey 
• Signing a consent form 
• Providing a waist circumference measurement 
• Providing a small blood sample (similar to a doctor's visit)

Enrollment opportunities are available from November 8-19, 2011 at the following 7 Quest Diagnostics locations in metro Denver with appointments at various times:

• 695 S. Broadway, Denver, CO 80209
• 1411 S. Potomac St. #290, Aurora, CO 80012
• 6179 S. Balsam Way #240, Littleton, CO 80123
• 7700 W Virginia Ave. Unit C, Lakewood, CO 80226
• 3250 E 104th Ave., Thornton, CO 80233
• 8671 S. Quebec St. #240, Littleton, CO 80130
• 3555 Lutheran Parkway #130, Wheat Ridge, CO 80033

Following enrollment, you will receive mailed surveys at home every few years to update your information. You will also receive annual study newsletters to update you on research results.

Whether or not you are able to enroll or whether you have previously enrolled at a local Relay For Life event, please forward this blog post/URL to friends, coworkers, and family members in your community and encourage them to fight back against cancer by enrolling in CPS-3.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be a part of the research that may change the course of cancer forever. Together, we have the power to save countless lives and create a world with less cancer and more birthdays!

For more information about CPS-3, please visit www.cancer.org/cps3, email cps3@cancer.org or call toll-free 1-888-604-5888.

TO SCHEDULE YOUR APPOINTMENT, GO TO:
http://www.cps3denver.com.

Alpa Patel, PhD, Principal Investigator, CPS-3, American Cancer Society, Atlanta, GA 

Karen Hill, Mountain Region Vice President, American Cancer Society, Denver, CO

Acupuncture

The center's entryway floor.

Acupuncture is interesting to me. And I believe it's been beneficial to me as a complement to my Western medicine treatments. It hasn't hurt me in any way, that's for sure. Paul is my acupuncturist and I hope to remember to get a picture of him sometime in the future. Chemo brain has made getting a picture of him all the more elusive. For now, here are a few pictures I took during a visit in August to show folks what I've experienced.

My appointments begin with a check-in of sorts. I talk to Paul about troublesome symptoms I'm experiencing and he checks my pulse and my tongue. (The main symptoms I found troublesome during chemotherapy were nausea, tinnitus (ears ringing), headache, bone paint, joint pain, and fatigue.) Then I hopped up on the table and got stuck! Once all the needles/pins/clips are in, Paul dims the lights and leaves the room. My job was to breathe in and out, relax, and try not to let too many stray thoughts come charging into my brain for the next 45 minutes. Easier said than done!

A needle in my forehead.
I *think* this is the brain on/off switch location.
It's nice when it's off!

Contrary to most of the needles folks are familiar with, acupuncture needles are not hollow. I played with one before I got stuck for the first time, just to see what I was getting into. They are so thin that they are flexible.  Having acupuncture needles inserted does not hurt; I've only had two needles placements that made me feel a twinge as they went in. A few minutes later, everything feels normal or better than normal.

Two needles in my foot.

I'm comfortable while on the table. A bolster is placed under my knees, rolled-up towels are placed under my wrists (which usually have needles in them, too), and a heat lamp can be used, too.

An infrared heat lamp.
Usually aimed at my cold feet.

Time for an Early Weekend!

Talk about fashion!
While it doesn't do much for the figure,
it's got an easy access front that the doctor loves.

We're headed out today for a mini vacation in the mountains. I am not taking my computer - it's time to unplug and enjoy nature, the chill in the air, each other, and time away from the daily grind at home. We're both excited and hope to enjoy some hikes. I feel like I'll be able to put in some decent mileage on the trails...so long as it's not too steep. That's still difficult for me to handle post-chemo.

Had a pre-op yesterday with the general surgeon. Nothing mind blowing was gleaned from the appointment. I'll have some bloodwork done next week to make sure everything is still thumbs up for surgery on the 25th. We did some recon at the hospital where I'll have my surgery. I was shown where I'll check in, the waiting rooms, the intake rooms, the surgery corridor, the recovery area, and a room among the post-op rooms where I'll spend the night. It felt good to see and become familiar with those surroundings prior to the morning of my surgery.
 
Pictures from the Bye-Bye Boobies Bash may or may not appear on the blog. Depends on how ruckus and inappropriate we are.  :) 

Next week will be a bit more full of appointments than this past one. (Part of me is happy for the diversion.) One appointment is a pre-op with the plastic surgeon; we do have considerably more questions for him. If we learn anything new from that appointment, we'll post it here.

So...I hope everyone else gets to get out and enjoy their weekend.

Below are some shots taken on a recent day road trip. We went west to Fairplay, then north to Breckenridge and back home. It was blissful to take in some gorgeous sights of turning aspens and incredible vistas.

Reiki

What is Reiki? Reiki is energy therapy used for stress reduction and relaxation.

Early in my chemotherapy treatment process, I heard about LifeSpark. LifeSpark is a non-profit organization in the Denver area that provides weekly healing touch massage or Reiki sessions to cancer patients. They use a sliding scale to determine your weekly payments and the providers are all volunteers. When I signed up, I was told the waiting time was 2-3 months, and that was no exaggeration.

My Reiki practitioner, Jane.
I'm thankful for her volunteering her time and energy
to be part of the LifeSpark program.

In August, I met Jane for my first Reiki session. I thought it was like massage, except the practitioner didn't touch you - the "I'm close to you but not touching you" sort-of thing. Why I didn't look it up beforehand to have a better handle on what I was getting into, I'm not sure. (Maybe just overwhelmed with soaking up all sorts of other information about breast cancer.)

For each treatment, Jane places her hands on me in various locations. We begin with me laying face down on a massage table and her placing her hands on my head. Each position is kept for about a minute. [This is approximate! I've never sat there and counted because I'm supposed to be relaxing.] When she's finished with head-to-toe energy therapy on that side, I flip over onto my back. Similar positions are repeated on my front side.

I've fallen asleep a couple of times and jerked myself awake once, nearly avoiding kicking her. That made us both giggle, but we recovered quickly and soon went back to being quiet and meditative.

For those of you that are curious:

The word Reiki is made of two Japanese words - Rei which means "God's Wisdom or the Higher Power" and Ki which is "life force energy". So Reiki is actually "spiritually guided life force energy."
from: http://www.reiki.org/faq/whatisreiki.html 

I've enjoyed my Reiki sessions. After my appointments - some of which were on "bad news days" - I've felt a sense of calm, peace, and well-being. Do I have any hard-core empirical evidence of these sessions showing a clear health benefit to me? Not really. But I feel better after the appointments, so I consider that a good thing. If nothing else, it's time for me to lay down, focus on my breath, and receive good energy from another human being.

A Helpful Reminder

A pre-weekend post for you all. Today I enjoyed a swim (short, but good) at a local rec center. I'm feeling better each day and find it nice to not have to do a countdown to next Tuesday (usual chemo date) - something I've been doing for several months! Yay for things like that during this experience.

I enjoy seeing this poster each day as I pass through the kitchen and entryway. It's a good reminder.

"Please be responsible for the energy you bring into this home."
~ Jill Bolte Taylor

The message resonates within me.
Sarah, her daughter, and her son made this canvas art.
(Along with a few others, I hear.) Thanks, guys!

Q #5: What is required to get ready for the surgery? How much time?

A:
A 3-4 week period is required to "prepare" for surgery. This allows my body some time to get important blood counts (WBC, RBC, platelets, etc.) to normalize. I'll also feel stronger, having (in my case) 4 weeks to recover from my 8 chemo treatments.

I've learned from other gals who have been through this already that I'll start noticing changes such as hair growing (although it'll be like baby hair/wispies at first), more earwax developing (?!), and my skin will begin feeling more normal (chemo has made my skin thin and smooth). I also look forward to my fatigue factor diminishing!

While chemo is now over, the next few weeks include a good number of appointments/things to do before surgery:

• Continue following the alkaline diet
• Go to reiki, light touch massage, and acupuncture sessions
• Attend pre-op with general surgeon
• Attend pre-op with plastic surgeon
• Submit my body/fluids for bloodwork and other pre-op tests (probably including an EKG)
• Celebrate my ta-tas (and mourn their loss, too) by having a bye-bye boobies night
• Receive a final Zoladex shot (to suppresses ovarian oestrogen production)
• Get my teeth cleaned - YAY! I am really looking forward to getting my teeth spiffed up. (FYI: Chemo dry mouth isn't good for pearly whites. I've done what I can to be nice to them and treat them well. But it's time for a cleaning as soon as I get cleared for doing so. Surgery + meds will also dish out a harsh atmosphere for my teeth. Before all this, I thought teeth bleaching was a bit strange. Now I'm considering doing it at some point.)

You're right: this picture has nothing to do
with this blog post! However, I saw it on the way
in to one of my ta-ta appointments
and HAD to stop, take a picture, and marvel
at the toughness this truck exuded
solely based on the spikes. 

Besides all the scientific "fun stuff" above, I hope to spend time prior to surgery enjoying the freedom of doing things myself - for that will soon change (for a while) post-surgery. I am looking forward to another getaway with Joshua, to help connect us more deeply and calm us down before surgery. I'm also wanting to get some really good exercise in (swim, jog, walk, yoga); that helps me not only physically, but mentally. I'm less anxious when I get in a good workout. Also, my crafting space feels neglected. It's time to do some projects in there!

Anything above and beyond that is icing on the cake!

Final Neulasta Shot

The day after my last treatment, I went back into the office for my final Neulasta shot - yay! This is the shot that, while it helps boost my WBC count, also gives way to joint pain (of which I'm not particularly a fan). Go, white blood cells, go!

I managed to get Pam to stay still for a minute to take a picture.
Pam is a busy woman, handling scheduling and a litany of phone calls every day.
She's a wealth of information and knows her stuff.

Seeing Ellen that day was great; my chemo journey had come full circle: my first treatment was administered by Ellen, and she was there on my last day of treatment, too. How cool!

The legendary Ellen (a.k.a. "Small but Mighty" and "Mighty Mouse").
She may look little, but she's got a big personality!  :)
I liked giving her a good squeeze.

Pseudo-cheerleading with spirit fingers.
We're cheesy and we love it.