Funny, I felt both relief and anxiety once I heard the information. Relief that the cancer will be taken out of my body and more information will be known about my adversary. Anxiety about the new unknowns. As totally outta this world this may seem, I've "gotten used to" chemo. That's not to say I like it - I don't - but there has been a somewhat predictable ebb and flow of energy, physical limitations, and mental tricks chemo brings to the table each time. It was also scheduled at regular intervals (I have been fortunate to not have to delay any treatments thus far) and took up over 3 months; I've been on autopilot.
Soon it's time for the next step. A new unknown. What will surgery be like? How will I recover? What will the pathology report tell us? What will be next after surgery? (Here I go again thinking in the future...bad girl! This is something I'm working on, and obviously still have a ways to go. More on this in a future post.)
I'll cut to the chase and keep today's post short and sweet. My Double M is scheduled for October 25.
3 comments:
Oh, Laura. It is so hard to know what to say about this post. Am I glad you have a confirmed date set? Yes! That is one big thing known in these day-to-day times. I am just so sad at this brutal action required to kill this monster that has invaded your body, but not your spirit. You are so much more than these parts of your body. Selfishly, I am so grateful that you are choosing life so that we can enjoy your presence for many, many more years to come.
All our love during this next phase of your journey.
On the one hand I'm so glad you have more information and a date set but I'm sure it's a lot to process. I wondered if that feels too soon but too far away at the same time. I'm sure you will do great and embrace this new part of the process with as much strength and grace as you've shown so far. Hang in there. Thinking of you. Hugs, hugs, hugs, Amber
Thanks, Sarah and Amber. Tough post to comment on, I'm sure - you are brave!
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